14 years later

August 5, 2000

August 5, 2014

Oh, yeah, it still fits!!  I surprised the kiddos (especially the girls) by putting on my wedding dress in honor of our anniversary this past Tuesday. No, my dress isn't "heir-loomed." Yes, my dress is hanging in Taryn's closet on wire-hangers covered with a plastic "Sophisticated Lady" (a little shout out to the North County Fair in Esco!) dress bag. Hey, it's better than where my mom kept her wedding dress (my sisters know what I am talking about it :)).

Simon walked into the room, saw me, and asked "Were you pretty mom?"  Ha, I translated that as "Did you think you were pretty mom?" I am sure that is what he meant, right? :)

Oh, honey, every woman feels pretty on their wedding day.  They see the smiles and hear the sweet "oohs and ahhs" as they walk down the aisle toward the man they love. Yes, every woman does (or should) feel beautiful on their wedding day. I wasn't any different.

Even though, thanks to the roller coaster of prenatal and postpartum weight gain and loss, my wedding dress is a little more snug than it was fourteen years ago, I still feel beautiful. Confession: I had to have Annika yank up the zipper in the back (don't think I had to deal with a "muffin top" on my wedding day). Actually, if you give me permission to say it, I feel more beautiful. It's not because I sashay around in my wedding dress.  Usually, I am walking through the house unshowered and still in my workout clothes so there are other reasons why I feel beautiful.

I have a handsome husband who tells me how much he loves me every. single. day. And as we sit together and just watch t.v. in our p.j.s, I know that I am the love of his life, and he is mine. We have inside jokes that make the outside world roll their eyes (and maybe the eyes of our children). We have experienced the "for better" and the "for worse." We fight and make up. Even though he has seen me at my less than stellar moments, I feel his love for me and that makes me feel beautiful.

I have four crazy, silly, goofy, adorable children who make my life so good. So very, very good. Even in the times when I am ready to put them up for sale to the highest bidder (or even, depending on the day, the lowest) they remind me of the gifts of grace and mercy. They rarely listen the first time, take forrrevveerr to do their chores, find amazing amounts of fun in making a mess, and the not so much fun in cleaning them up. Yet, they can also make me laugh to the point of tears, their imagination knows no bounds, and they truly do love being with each other. Even at the end of "the worst day ever," their squishy hugs and toothpaste kisses make me feel beautiful.

My poor wedding dress has been stuffed in and out of boxes and moved a couple of times. It's current residence is hanging in the back of a closet full of kids clothes and shoes. So fourteen years ago did it make me feel pretty? Yes, it made me feel beautiful. But, today, my sweet little Simon, I don't need a fancy white dress to let me know what it means to be beautiful.